How to dice an onion

Every once in awhile, I notice that I take for granted a technique that is highly non-obvious. How to dice an onion is one of them. There is no such thing as a chopped onion: these are only irregularly diced ones.

Dicing an onion takes seconds and results in pieces so small that they are sure to dissolve into flavor-enhancing invisibility as a soup or stew progresses.

As with my other explanations on knife skills, this description is no substitute for classroom instruction and I am totally not responsible for you cutting yourself if you choose to try this.

Always use the end of your knife that's furthest from the handle--at least the last third, if not the last sixth. This gives you far more control.

DIRECTIONS:

1. Hone your chef's knife with a steel.
2. Begin breathing only through your mouth. Don't breathe through your nose for even a second until you're done dicing.
   
3. Cut the stem end off of your onion. Cut a portion of the root end off, being sure to leave the root intact.
4. Cut through the two ends of the onion such that half of the stem end and half of the root end remain in each of the hemispheres. Remove the skin.
5. Turn your knife at an angle tangent to the hemisphere (such that it points to the middle of the onion), beginning almost parallel to the board at the far right side of the onion. Cut almost all the way through the onion, but do not cut through the root. This will hold the onion together and make it easier to dice. Make incisions in 1/4" increments.
6. Turn the onion 90 degrees and slice it into 1/4" slices. The onion will instantly fall apart into tiny pieces.
   

Voila!